Clutter, Clutter, Clutter….The more I think about it the more I realize clutter is everywhere in our lives. And not just our material lives, but clutter can also reside in our spiritual lives and most decidedly in our hearts.
Clutter, by definition, is “that which causes a confused or disordered state.” (online dictionary) Wow! How often does my own heart feel like that? Days when it feels like it is in such disorder and what it needs is a serious emotional cleanout?
So what kind of clutter fills your heart? Hurts, wounds, unmet expectations, anger, resentment, bitterness, loneliness, disappointments?
I know for myself it can be all of those things and then some.
So what are we to do about it? Because I know most certainly that God has not called us to live this way.
Several years ago the Lord began to take me on a journey of healing the clutter of my own heart ~ wounds and baggage that had accumulated over the years. As I began this journey it was not one I was particularly looking forward too because honestly I was scared at what I might just find out about myself. I know it may seem silly but I have my guess that I am not alone in this. Right?
I have spoken with countless women who feel the same way, yet they are tired of carrying around the hurst, pain and wounds of the past and are ready to deal with it honestly. Sound familiar?
For me, it began with going on a Women’s Encounter with our church. While an Encounter is similar to a typical Women’s Retreat the difference here is that each lady is encouraged to focus on herself and what God wants to speak to her heart, especially in regards to the things of the past, hurts and wounds.
See, God desires for us to walk free and whole and yet so much of the time we just maintain. And I was just maintaining. Not necessarily on purpose. We don’t want to hold onto those things on purpose but it is the way of our human hearts and spirit.
Well, that weekend I had reached my bottom, my breaking point, the point that I said “God! Enough! There has got to be more than this.
What God began to do that weekend he continues to do in me these many years later. I choose that weekend to trust Him with all the “Clutter” that had built up over the years. To help me confess my sin and to start bringing healing to my hurt. That weekend I poured it all out and walked away feeling more free than I had ever experienced. I was once again growing in Him. I finally felt like I had emptied my heart out and let Christ fill it up. What a feeling!
Leaving that weekend I prayed on the way home “Dear Lord, I pray that I would always choose to Live at the Bottom of my Heart”! – that as life happens and hurts and pains come again, that I would choose to deal with them then and not later so that they don’t build up in my heart. So that the Clutter doesn’t take over.
Because you see, when we let sin, wounds, hurts and pain build up in our heart, it leaves that much less room for Christ to truly dwell in us. Matthew 15:8 says to us “But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man” So, if that is true… then even if Christ lives in my heart, with all those other things present in my heart the things coming out of my mouth are not always of Him.
Sometimes what spills out of our mouth is a result of the hurt and pain or the inadequacies we feel as a wife, mother, woman, or daughter . Sometimes what spills out is the result of what was poured into us…”clutter” that we chose to hold onto for far too long.
For me, I grew weary of living that way and had to make a conscious choice to deal with the clutter buried in my heart. When I did, the freedom I found on the other side has been incredible.
But it’s a process. Every day I have to evaluate the “Clutter” of my heart. I have to make a conscious decision to deal with what I have buried there and piled up. No one else can do it for me.
Honestly it is a lifelong process that takes courage and a willingness to be real.
So my challenge to myself is to be real. To take time to seek God on the clutter that has built up in my heart, to write it down and get it out, and then pray through each thing he reveals so that I might walk free. That I might truly live at the bottom of my heart with only Christ taking up the full residence of that space.