Welcome to Day 2 of Capturing the Heart of Your Teen Daughter. Yesterday we talked about the importance of embracing this time with our daughters because in truth, they are only teenagers for a very short window of time.
But we also talked about the fact that reaching our teen daughter’s heart does not actually start with her…in reality, it must start with us first. We have to become aware of what our hearts are saying and speaking….not only through our words but through our actions as well.
Reaching the Hearts of our Daughters takes work and many times we have to think ahead about how we are going to reach her. Even as we give them room to stretch their wings we can still be the greatest source of influence in their life…but we have to consciously pursue our daughters….and in some essence, earn the right to speak into her life.
As sad as it may be…gone are the days, when as toddlers, they came easily and even automatically to us anytime they were frightened, worried, hungry or just needed a hug.
Now as they enter tween-hood and the older teen years, they may not always come to us for everything.
And as this happens we can have the tendency to stop “pursuing” our daughters, worried that we will just drive them away if we get too close. But I believe that our daughters still want to be pursued….to know they have value and worth in the eyes of those that love them most (even if they don’t always act that way).
So how do we show them they have worth? How do we convey that they have value?
By simply spending time with them…
And finding time can be hard in this day and age…I get that…really I do. I have had those seasons in my life where both my husband and I were working full time and yet still had to find time for family and sport practices and ministry responsibilities…and everything in-between.
But even in that, I think we must find the time to spend with them….even to the point of being willing to give up some of our “busyness” along the way. To slow down, to take in and really enjoy this time with our daughters.
Because how do we expect to win and impact their heart if we never actually spend time with them? Not only spending key moments with them, but being involved and showing interest in their day to day life.
Over the years I have read many articles debating whether kids need Quality time or Quantity time
And many argue as if it is an either or proposition.
But I want to challenge you with this….I believe that it must be both. That what our daughters want from us is Quality time AND Quantity Time. That to do one without the other simply shortchanges the relationship.
If we want to reach the hearts of our daughters we must invest by giving her our time.
Our daughters crave being valued and having worth just as much as we do…..and we can tell her over and over that she is worth everything to us and yet, if we never take the time to put those words into action they fall heavy and void on her young heart.
So find out what she likes…what her interest are…and go from there. Keep in mind that the things she was interested in when she was five and six years old, may not be what she is interested in now.
We all grow and change and our daughters are no different. Maybe before, she loved the zoo, but now the mall calls her name (Which is a different kind of zoo, but we won’t go there).
No…it may not be your kind of music, or your idea of a fun time, but honestly it’s not really about those things...what it’s really about is the girl behind the music….the girl behind the fun. That is what matters.
So my challenge to you today is to start asking God to show you where you can invest quality AND quantity time with your daughter. Pray that her heart will be open and receptive to time together. Then begin to pursue her heart, to show her that you value her...that she has worth simply for who she is and not for what she does.
It will take work…I can promise you that. There will be days that will come easy…and days you will run into attitude! Ok, maybe some major attitude…but don’t give up. Keep pursuing her heart because she needs to see and know that she is worth fighting for.
Deuteronomy 6:6-9: “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
A Word From Victoria ~
PS: Don’t forget about the giveaways at the end of this challenge – follow the link below to enter.
Click this entry link http://bit.ly/11Oqjwd for a chance to win one of three great prizes. You can enter each day by doing any or all the five entry options.